Dear Liam,

First grade is just a day away. Can you believe it? Some days I feel like I was just starting my first day of school and some days I feel one hundred years old. But for you this first year is huge and all encompassing. Soon, you’ll be gone seven hours a day, eating your lunch at school, spending more waking time with others than you spend with your dad and me. But you’re not thinking about the hugeness of this right now. You can hardly wait to go.

I once had thought of homeschooling you, and because you’re such a cool kid who loves to learn, I still think of homeschooling you. But, for now at least, you couldn’t be happier to be in a classroom with your best buddies and an awesome teacher – who is not your mother. I’ll try not to take it personally.

However, since I am your mother, you still have to listen to me (at least a few more years) and since I can’t be with you every minute of the day, I want to give you some words to remember, some rules to live by, some magic to conjure up in those moments when, as Dumbledore says to Harry Potter, you face the choice between what is right and what is easy.

Be kind. Your great-grandma Gaye taught you the Bible verse that can make the difference between a good year and a great one. Say it with me: Be kind to one another. You be kind and they’ll be kind back. But more important than that, God asks you to, which means that no matter how you’re feeling, being kind is always the right choice.

Be generous. When you were little, we called this sharing, and it usually involved your toys. Now being generous involves a lot more. It means this: If someone forgot their lunch, offer them the best part of yours. If someone is struggling to tie their shoes, help them, even if it makes you late to gym. If you wanted to be chosen to run the errand to the office, be happy for the student who was. Give freely, my little friend. Of your stuff. Of your time. Of your knowledge. Of your heart. God loves a cheerful giver. It’ll make you happy, too.

Be present. Listen. Hear what a friend is saying before you take a turn to speak. Pay full attention to your teacher. Don’t dwell on something you lost or didn’t get to do or wish you were doing instead. Enjoy the moment. Have fun right where you are. Like Dumbledore told Harry as he stood paralyzed in front of the Mirror of Erised, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.”

Be enthusiastic. Ready for this one? You won’t always be the winner. Let’s say it again: You won’t always be the winner. The important thing is to be a good player and to celebrate – yes, celebrate – the one who comes out on top. Smile, cheer, give a hug or a high five. If another student does something really well or earns an award or wins a game, tell them how awesomely they did. Be enthusiastic about other people’s success. If you can learn to do this now, it’ll save you years of unhappiness.

Be polite. When in doubt: Please. Thank you. Sorry. Excuse me. To everyone. All the time.

Be prepared. It’s not your abilities that show who you really are. It is your choices. Be prepared to make choices that are healthy and loving and life giving. Know what you stand for and what you’ll do in the face of ugliness or dishonesty or pressure. When someone is teased, be prepared to stand up for them. When someone wants you to do something wrong, be prepared to walk away. No matter what the circumstance, you can turn the tide. Remember what Dumbledore told Harry? “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.”

Be yourself. You are smart. You are funny. You are creative. You are helpful. You are kind. You are all these things I am asking you to be. Don’t ever be someone different. And when you think you might, remember this, you are loved. Always. All the time. You are loved. What an amazing and powerful thing to be.

Have a magical year, my sweet boy. You’re something special. I won’t be one bit surprised if you end up with a lot to teach me.

Love, Mama

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Amy Bordoni is a writer in the western suburbs who documents everyday life and then some on her blog Don’t Stamp the Baby.