This is my story about how I was the lucky one…..

My dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in summer of 2010. As with every obstacle he was faced with, he told us kids (adult age – but still, his kids) that he would put up a fight and do all he could to battle this disease!

Dad always gave 100% to everything; work, family, friends. He spent evenings and weekends learning new computer programming languages so he could be the best and brightest computer guru. Dad would stay in touch with his 3 brothers; always finding time to have a drink, catch-up, and laugh over the trouble they got into together being the 4 sons of a Chicago police officer. For his own family, there was no-one more dedicated to teaching their children how to write a paper, do chores, and listen to mom! As I grew older and had my own children, he loved spending time with the grandkids…….of course he did teach them quite a few questionable behaviors like blowing paper straws at mom/dad, proper use of a whoopie cushion, and the all time favorite water balloon fights. The fun didn’t stop there, he always kept in touch with friends (some he had known since he himself was a child) and was even in a band. Our whole family would come out to his “gigs” and the band had special guest appearances of my brothers and/or cousin on occasion. Dad loved playing keyboard and guitar, one of his last performances was Naperville’s Oktoberfest in 2010. It is so hard to believe seven weeks later he was gone… We all wanted more time with him, this all happened too fast!

As fall approached we saw a man who loved life to the fullest start to deteriorate. His body was unresponsive to Chemo and it only made his quality of living worse. He was in and out of the hospital, and was told he could never work again – which was devastating news to him. Daddy had a port put in, had mini-strokes, then we learned cancerous tumors were breaking loose and going to his brain causing him dizziness and confusion. He could no longer fight this battle and only had one wish – to go home and get some relief from the horrible pain. Halloween day our family celebrated his return home. All of us had huge smiles leaving the hospital, but this was much more of a trick, than a treat.

Hospice was the right solution for dad and our family! Dad even rebounded, for a bit. Steroids brought back his appetite and he craved my pumpkin bread (I am not a baker, can barely cook, but thank god for the seasonal Pillsbury Pumpkin Bread mix!) He became stronger from eating and a change in his medicine stopped his dizziness, allowing him to get around in a wheel chair and/or sit with us in a chair. Dad was visited by those who wanted to help or just show their love, a great party finally!

However, all parties must end. Dad’s condition started to worsen and he passed on November 20th, 2010. I was at the house all afternoon putting together photo boards of our favorite pictures. Dad was breathing lightly, but peaceful. My husband John had been Mr. Mom for weeks, and wanted to join me and the rest of the family at dad’s place late that afternoon. After John and I left to put the kids to bed, my little brother (in his 20’s, but still my little brother, little phil – named after dad of course) and my uncle sat with dad each holding one of his hands. I think dad finally felt we would be ok and decided to join his own parents who also passed way too early – in their late 50’s. I remember looking at my clock in the car and the time was 9:11. My older brother called John’s cell phone instead of mine, so my husband had to tell me the news, but there was nothing to say because his face told me all I needed to know…

We tried to have dad’s services be what dad wanted, but nothing is ever perfect. The priest told a horrible eulogy. At one point we all looked around and smiled, knowing dad loved humor, we all just had to laugh and let it go. We had lunch at our family’s favorite little Italian restaurant in town. Supporting one another we showed dad we were going to be alright. We even did better than I expected at Christmas 2010. It was hard not having dad around, since Christmas Eve was his favorite event of the year. However we all stayed strong and even a little silly. My little brother and uncle decided it would be fun to put my son’s nose in a piece of cake – yes the family tradition of smelling the cake continued.

Mom’s birthday is in January and all of us kids felt horrible. What could we do for her? How do your replace a spouse? I am not sure how mom does it, but she has survived. She has stayed strong and kept all of us together. I think she must be in so much pain but it doesn’t keep her from moving forward. She is still in the same house, working the same job, seeing the same friends. Living just as she did with dad, with a few minor decorating upgrades that dad would be so impressed with. She is also the one that kept looking out for a Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk, so we could make dad proud and fight to find a cure. She told me a few weeks ago (at her 2nd birthday after dad’s passing) that as hard as it is to have dad gone, it is harder to think of the future. I asked her what she meant and she told me that if there is not enough time, money, and effort spent on finding a cure to Pancreatic Cancer then this disease could take not only dad but others in our family. Our friends, neighbors, and community will be impacted!

Recently I learned the devastating numbers…pancreatic cancer is the nation’s fourth leading cause of cancer deaths, and that its low survival rate has not improved in 25 years.
• It's the most lethal cancer there is. Overall survival rate is 6%.
• 44,000 Americans will be diagnosed this year. More than 37,000 will die.
• No early test. Less than 20% of those diagnosed are eligible for surgery.
• No cure, unless the cancer is surgically removed in its earliest stages.
• Too little federal funding. Pancreatic cancer research constitutes less than 2% of the National Cancer Institute's budget.

I was the lucky one to get to spend so many years with my dad. He was there for my college graduation, walked me down the aisle on my wedding day and danced on the table at the reception, he was there for the births of my 3 children. Dad spent time with me when I was a child, and also as an adult. The last few years he was alive we loved going to Naperville’s Growing Place. We would share our perennials and could work in our gardens all weekend long. Mom was so amazed that we enjoyed weeding and mowing the grass, I think it was our connection to nature and the cycle of life.

I wish dad could be here for my younger brother, now early 20’s. To me it isn’t fair that dad will not be around for his wedding or to play with his children. It brings me to tears just thinking about it and makes me appreciate every minute I did get to spend with dad. But instead of doing nothing about this, for my family and yours, I choose to have hope. Research is hope and hope never quits. I want to give patients a fighting chance.

So what am I doing? Donating my time, effort, and money to the April 15th Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk in Naperville. With Cablevision's support of The Lustgarten Foundation, 100% of donations will go directly to Pancreatic Cancer research.
However, I can’t do it alone, I need your help! What can you do…

• Join us on April 15th, 2012 for the Naperville, IL Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk – Register under the team name Phil's Phriends and Phamily for the Phight http://2012napervillewalk.kintera.org

• Make a donation to our team Phil's Phriends and Phamily for the Phight
http://2012NapervilleWalk.kintera.org/daddy

• Simply send in a check to:
The Lustgarten Foundation
1111 Stewart Avenue
Bethpage, NY 11714

Please include your name, the Naperville, IL 4/15 walk, and team Phil's Phriends and Phamily for the Phight

Any questions/comments can be sent to Annie – jazediker@comcast.net

Thank you for your time, support and willingness to join me in this fight!

Annie Zediker